Two Dudes. One Yard.
Brokeback Lawn Care.

We take your sad, patchy grass and turn it into the kind of lawn your neighbors can’t stop staring at… even when it’s awkward.

🏡 “That’s… suspiciously green.” – Your HOA
🍑 Specialists in thick, luscious backyards
⚠️ Side-effects include: yard envy
🌾 Make My Grass Feel Things

*We only judge your lawn, not your life choices… unless you own a weed whacker and never use it.

100% Drama-Free, 110% Extra

Live Job Feed

Carl’s Backyard • 3:17 PM – Emotional support mower deployed.

Jake 🚜
“This grass hasn’t been touched in years… no wonder it’s acting wild.”
Heath 🪓
“I can’t quit this yard. We’re edging until the sun goes down.”
Grass Glow-Up Progress
“Is that a yard?” “They definitely hired Brokeback.”

What We Do (Besides Cause Yard Envy)

We treat every lawn like it’s in a spicy country music video: dramatic, over-edited, and looking way better than reality. Here’s how we make the magic happen:

Most Requested
🌾 “50 Shades of Green” Mowing
For grass that’s emotionally unavailable and wildly uneven.
  • Perfectly even mowing lines that say “we’re in a committed relationship”
  • We dodge your dog’s landmines like seasoned professionals
  • Complimentary “lawn hype” after every cut (“Dang, you look good, backyard”)
Warning: neighbors may suddenly appear outside “just to grab the mail.”
✂️ “Trim & Proper” Edging
Because nothing says “I’ve got my life together” like crisp edges.
  • Sidewalk and driveway edges cleaner than your search history
  • We tame wild grass rebellions along fences & flower beds
  • Leaves your yard looking like it pays taxes early
Best paired with intense staring out the window, admiring your own lawn.
🌳 “Bushwhackers” Shrub & Hedge Care
Your bushes are safe with us. Well… safer after we’re done.
  • Shape, trim, and tame unruly shrubs and hedges
  • Zero judgment for what they looked like before
  • We make them symmetrical, not suspicious
Tall, short, patchy, or dense – we’ve seen it all. It’s fine.
💦 “Sprinkler Whisperers” & Lawn TLC
Hydration, baby. Your grass is thirsty and we’re here for it.
  • Sprinkler adjustment so you water the lawn, not the street
  • Basic seeding & spot repairs for balding grasslines
  • Fertilizer plans that don’t require a chemistry degree
May cause spontaneous barefoot walks and “Dude, feel how soft this is” moments.

Our Story: Brokeback Beginnings

It started like all great American stories: two dudes, one beat-up mower, and a yard so ugly it made the mailman walk faster.

Jake looked at the grass and said, “Someone should really do something about this.” Heath replied, “We are someone.”

And just like that, Brokeback Lawn Care was born – forged in sweat, mower fumes, and a shared belief that no lawn is too far gone.

Now we roam the suburbs like landscaping cowboys, taming wild yards, rescuing neglected backyards, and turning “please don’t look at my lawn” into “yeah, that’s my place 😏.”

Pick Your Level of Commitment

Whether you’re lawn-curious or ready for a long-term relationship with your yard, we’ve got a package that’ll treat your grass right.

🌱 “Situationship”
For lawns you only remember when company’s coming over.
Starting at $X / visit
  • One-time or “oh crap, my in-laws are visiting” mow
  • Basic edging & cleanup so it looks like you tried
  • Judgment-free before photos (we’ve seen worse, promise)
Perfect if your lawn standards are “not embarrassing” but not “HGTV.”
Most Popular
🌾 “Mow & Chill”
Weekly or bi-weekly visits, because consistency is sexy.
Starting at $X / month
  • Regular mowing & edging so your lawn stays thirst-trap level
  • Seasonal tweaks (height, pattern, and TLC) for max curb appeal
  • Priority scheduling – we come back like your favorite bad habit
Recommended for most yards and most people who forget what day trash goes out.
💍 “Put a Ring On It”
Full-season lawn commitment. We’re basically moving in.
Custom seasonal pricing
  • Full-season mowing, trimming, and pampering
  • Seed, feed, and light rehab for balding patches
  • Strategy chats: “Yes, your yard can look like that Pinterest photo”
Best for lawns that deserve main-character energy all year round.

Receipts: What People Say

You don’t have to take our word for it. Here’s what happens when Brokeback rolls up with a mower and too much enthusiasm:

“My husband hasn’t noticed a haircut in 12 years, but the second these guys finished the yard he goes, ‘Dang, did we always have this much grass?’ 10/10 would emotionally confuse spouse again.”

– Karen R. Neighborhood CEO of Complaints

“I used to apologize for my backyard. Now I just slide the patio door open like, ‘Behold.’ The dog is thriving. I’m thriving. The lawn is the main character.”

– Marcus T. Former Lawn Neglecter

“They edged around my kid’s plastic slide like it was a national monument. Extreme professionalism. Also, those mowing lines? Straight as my internet history isn’t.”

– “Anonymous” Definitely Not My Neighbor

Frequently Asked Awkward Questions

  • Do you make jokes the whole time you mow?
    Not the whole time. There are sacred moments of silence where we just vibe with the mower and contemplate life. But yeah, it’s not exactly quiet.
  • Is it weird to watch you mow from the window?
    Only if you try to hide and then make accidental eye contact. Just wave. It’s fine.
  • What do you do with dog poop?
    We dodge it like a video game on hard mode. If it’s a minefield, we may gently recommend a pre-mow cleanup or add a “landmine removal” fee so we don’t end up power-painting your fence.
  • Will my lawn actually look that good?
    Short answer: yes.
    Longer answer: yes, but also water it sometimes. We’re landscapers, not wizards.

Book the Boys

Ready for your yard to glow up? Drop your info below and we’ll slide into your inbox with a quote and scheduling options – no weird small talk required.

We’ll get back to you faster than your grass can say “please don’t let them use the dull mower.”

Not a form person? That’s fair. You can also reach us the old-fashioned way:

Text/Call: (555) 555-BROK
Email: howdy@brokebacklawncare.com
Hours: When the sun’s up and the mower’s gassed.

Bonus points if you send us a “before” pic. We love a dramatic reveal.